Trauma Informed Care Tip of the Week, October 22

Want positive behavior? Use positive language!

Positive adult language is the professional use of words and tone of voice to enable students to learn in an engaged, active way. This includes learning social skills. To guide children toward choosing and maintaining positive behaviors, school adults need to carefully choose the words and tone of voice we use when speaking to them.

To choose positive behaviors, children need to see themselves as capable individuals and responsible community members. Adults can use positive language to help children build that self-perception.

Suppose a principal says to an all-school gathering, “When everyone is quiet, we’ll start our school pledge,” or a lunch teacher says to a class entering the lunchroom, “You can look at our poster to remind yourselves what to do when you finish eating.” These words convey belief that children want to cooperate, listen, and do good work, while also giving them information about how they can follow through on those good intentions.

With our words, we convey our assumptions and expectations about children, which, in turn, influence children’s assumptions and expectations about themselves. Imagine Shayna bouncing through the school doors in the morning. She loves school and sometimes forgets the school rule about walking down the hallway. But today she remembers. As she starts toward her classroom, an adult in the hallway speaks to her. Compare these two statements:

(a) Shayna, don’t even think about running to your classroom this morning. I’m watching you!

(b) Good morning, Shayna! I’m so glad you’re here today. I see you’re remembering to walk safely in the hall.

These two ways of talking send very different messages:

(a) The first way communicates a lack of faith in Shayna’s ability to follow the rules. It also sets up the adult as an “enforcer,” undermining trust between the adult and the student.

(b) The second way communicates that the adult sees Shayna’s good intentions and responsible behavior and, most importantly, believes that she can succeed.

By using positive language to convey your belief in children’s abilities and intentions, you help them internalize a positive identity and develop more awareness and self-control. As a bonus, your language helps those within earshot form a positive perception of the child, which further enhances the child’s self-perception and helps to promote positive behavior.

Source: www.responsiveclassroom.org